The festive season is the opposite of everything the eating disorder needs — and you can get through it without it wrecking your recovery.
An eating disorder thrives on routine, control and predictability. Christmas is none of those things — it's the opposite of those things. In the lead-up, nothing goes as planned, social events pop up at a few minutes' notice, and days are centred around food, with well-meaning relatives adding their commentary into the mix. For someone in recovery, that creates a perfect storm: disrupted routines, food everywhere with more attention on it than usual, comments from loved ones, and your usual supports (therapy, groups, friends) often disappearing for the season.
There can also be grief in it — watching others enjoy something that feels out of reach, and mourning the Christmases the eating disorder has already taken. If that's you, know two things: you are not broken, and you are not alone.
Comments about the amount or tempo of your eating are huge triggers for a lot of people. If they are for you, tell people beforehand about your struggles so they won't make these comments. If they comment anyway, realise it comes from ignorance — lots of people don't understand the true nature of eating disorders. Keep your goals in mind and let it wash over you.
If you're craving the sweets and Christmas treats but the head voice is holding you back, tell yourself this: you deserve to enjoy Christmas like everybody else. You cannot gain weight just from having some sweets here and there. Look at the friends and family who eat a bit more at Christmas — they don't look any different afterwards. Eating the food, and letting your body regulate, is part of how the whole process becomes natural.
An eating disorder destroys your life, so it only makes sense that you can't holiday your way out of it — you take it with you. I've told myself in the past that a little getaway would solve it all, only to bring my problems along. I remember a time when food and restaurant decisions could ruin an entire holiday. But I also made a decision, over five years ago, that I wanted to travel, explore and embrace countries, cuisines and freedom more than I wanted to stay stuck. I've never regretted it. On a recent trip I ate convenience foods and slept poorly, and the eating disorder would have freaked out — but the holiday was better for it. That's the life I want, and it's available to you too.
Tell yourself you deserve to enjoy Christmas like everyone else. You cannot gain weight just from having some sweets here and there — look at the friends and family who eat a bit more at Christmas, and they don't look any different afterwards. If the ED voice is very strong, set minimums or stick to a meal plan so the decision is already made, and focus on the people and moments rather than only the food.
Plan ahead. If there's a real risk you'll use the holidays as an excuse to restrict or lose weight, set yourself certain guidelines or minimums, or stick to a meal plan during this difficult time. It takes some of the questioning and anxiety out of the equation. Also work with your support system so someone knows you may be struggling, knows your signal, and knows how to respond.
It is completely normal to overeat at Christmas — there's good food everywhere, you're chatting, and before you know it you've eaten too much. Everyone does it from time to time, and it is okay. Don't restrict the day after to compensate; that's the eating disorder's solution. The aftermath of festive eating is handled by returning to normal meals, not by punishment.
Comments about the amount or tempo of your eating can be huge triggers. If they're a big trigger for you, tell people beforehand about your struggles so they won't make these comments. If they comment anyway, realise it comes from ignorance — lots of people simply don't understand the true nature of eating disorders. Keep your goals in mind and don't let it derail you.
You take the eating disorder with you on holiday — it doesn't stay at home, and I've had trips where food decisions ruined the whole thing. But it can also be a turning point. I decided over five years ago that I wanted to travel, explore and try new things more than I wanted to stay stuck, and I've never regretted it. Prepare for the triggers and the holiday can be a place to practice freedom.